John is joined by Guardian TV writer Julia Raeside to watch Timothy “Bond James Bond” Dalton gamely feign desire for 1,000,000 year old Mae West in the “saucy” “musical” “comedy” Sextette. “Why don’t you come up and see it some time?” Why? Because it’s batshit insane.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t be living heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrre!” John Rain tackles the 1988 film starring Bronhom – the man who would be Bond (and then was Bond, so don’t cry) – with the man who gave Taffin a second chance at life. It’s Dr Buckles himself, the Emperor of Podland Adam Buxton, who can be found on Twitter as @AdamBuxton.
It’s side special time again, and do you fancy something unpretentious and easy-going? Well, bad news – it’s ZARDOZ! AND IN THE END ZARDOZ RE-CREATED MAN! Joining John to refuse to move to the second level no matter how much you waggle your hands are the acclaimed comedy writers of Charlie Brooker’s News Wipe, Philomena Cunk and the Ladybird Books For Grown-Ups – Jason Hazeley (on Twitter as @JasonHazeley) and Joel Morris (@gralefrit)!
It’s side special time again, and what sounds more fun than a 1970s sci-fi disaster movie starring a grumpy Sean Connery, co-financed by American and Hong Kong backers, which flopped at the box office? Not much. Joining John to avoid being crushed under a lump of slow-moving rock is actor and writer Dan Tetsell, who can be found on Twitter as @tetsell.
It’s side special time again, and it’s one that nearly no-one’s been waiting for: 1997’s Spiceworld The Movie! Stick on your Union Jack platform boots, hide all the BAFTAs, and prepare to mercilessly cash-in as the Spice Girls – Sporty, Scary, Fangy, Boycie and Maureen (citation needed) – take us on a wild bus-ride back to the glorious 1990s. Joining John to endure 93 minutes of Girl Power and film-making ineptitude is writer and compulsive swearer Marc Haynes, who can be found on Twitter as @marchaynes.
Side Special time again, and it’s one of the most requested! Roger Moore’s Scotch-soaked North Sea Hijack (1980) is one of the ffew ffilms brave enough to combine terrorism, embroidery, a harpoon gun, James Mason and a box full of kittens. Joining John for a cup of poisoned coffee is Mark Evans, writer, performer, Twitter abstainer and all round ffine ffellow.
It’s side special time again, and just in time for Halloween, we’re off to be humiliated at an awards ceremony, throw ourselves into the Thames and then exact bloody revenge against those who failed to recognise our genius. Welcome to Theatre of Blood!
Joining me for a bloody and violent taste of their own medicine are the Guardian and Total Film critic Ali Catterall, who can be found on Twitter as @alicatterall, and the actor Paul Putner, who’s also on Twitter as @realpaulputner.
It’s side special time again, and this week we will be knocking back ALL the booze, un-pinning some grenades and loading up our guns as we take flight with The Wild Geese.
Joining me to ruin a small child’s Christmas, and life, is actor and writer Will Smith, who can be found on Twitter as @willsmithwriter
It’s Side Special time again, and this week we will be climbing on-board the creepy sex dungeon on wheels, that is ON THE BUSES from 1971. There’ll be fun, frolics, soul-searching and maybe even an inquiry in 40 or so years.
Joining me to try and escape the limpet-like clutches of the resident bus-sex-offenders is the brilliant comedy writer Graham Linehan, who can be found on Twitter as @Glinner