The 24 Best Bond films

A boring wrestling match between a dull action film, and a Marvel movie. A waste of everyone’s time.

23.Dr. No
Perhaps not fair being down this low, what with it being the first, but I don’t really enjoy it.

22.The Man With The Golden Gun
Weird, too long and baffling in places (starting with the theme).

21.Quantum of Solace
A big old mess of a Bourne fan film.

20.From Russia With Love
I love Red Grant and the train sequence, but don’t really care for the rest.

It’s just not a Bond film. It’s a drama about midlife crisis.

18.You Only Live Twice
Fun, but waaaaay too long and slow.

17.For Your Eyes Only
The morning after the Moonraker party.

16.Die Another Day
Having rewatched all of the Bond films again for the pod, I feel Die Another Day gets an unfair rap. It’s badly made and stupid, but it has so much
fun packed inside it (would be higher in list were it not for Jinx).

15.The World is Not Enough
Wasted potential in every department. Bland.

Two film plots fighting each other and neither winning.

13.Tomorrow Never Dies
The best opening gunbarrel combo of all of them. Loads of fun, but falls apart in third act.

12.On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
Beautifully shot, written, scored – but not acted.

11.Diamonds are Forever
Weird in a good way. Have so much fun with this film.

Yes, the underwater sequence is SOOOOO LOONG, but I really like this one.

9.A View to a Kill
A proper comedy. So much fun in every department.The first one I saw at the cinema.

8.Casino Royale
Just brilliant (until the last 30 mins).

A classic for a reason.

6.Live and Let Die
Amazing soundtrack and Rog kicking the door down in style.

A perfect Bond film. If only they were made like this now?

4.The Living Daylights
The Daltz arrives, he headbuts and he takes names (though ending is too long).

A massive bowl of camp fun.

2.Licence to Kill
Bond does gritty 80s action. Love it so much because it is so different.

1.The Spy Who Loved Me
Objectively it is the perfect Bond film – ticks every single box with style.

24. Spectre with Pete Donaldson and Luke Moore

Episode 24 brings us the answers to the questions no one really asked. Just who is behind the scenes pulling all the strings? What connects the Craig-a-verse? Can you phone in an entire film? And can we pretend we didn’t make this one? Yes, it’s Spectre! Joining me to draw some smart blood are stars of The Football Ramble and the Luke and Pete Show, Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson, who can found on Twitter as @LukeAaronMoore and @PeteDonaldson, respectively.

Smersh Side Special: Nomads with Andy Stanton

It’s the last Side Special of the series! This week we are tackling the awful problem of homeless ghosts that are plaguing communities. Can we help them by hitting them and swearing at them in French? Let’s find out. Yes – it’s Nomads! Joining John to take erotic photographs and do the best French accent ever, is author of the amazing Mr. Gum books, as well as many others, Andy Stanton.

Smersh Side Special: Hell Drivers with Samira Ahmed

It’s side special time again and this week we’ll be driving like bloody maniacs, smoking roll-ups and flouting European Union Health and Safety laws while wearing donkey jackets. Yes – it’s Hell Drivers.

And joining John to “do it for Geno, ah?” (and back by popular demand), is broadcaster and journalist Samira Ahmed, who can be found on Twitter as @SamiraAhmedUK

Smersh Side Special: Shout at the Devil with Andrew Male

It’s Side Special time again, and this week we explore the sights and sounds of beautiful Zanzibar, while also drinking heavily and sending a bill to the German authorities – Yes! It’s Shout at the Devil.

Joining John to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage is senior associate editor of Mojo, and freelance arts journalist Andrew Male, who can be found on Twitter as @Andr6wmale

Smersh Side Special: Deathline with Steve Hall

It’s side special time again, and this week we’ll be visiting London for a trip on a the tube, a drink on the house, and a bite to eat – WITH A CANNIBAL – yes, it’s Death Line, and joining me to MIIIND THE DOORS is comedian Steve Hall, who can be found on Twitter as @astevehall

Side Special: Fire, Ice & Dynamite with Sarah Morgan

It’s Side Special time again, and this week we’ll be getting our skis on and heading out for a right, royal night on the piste – yes! It’s Fire, Ice and Dynamite! Joining John to slope around with Roger Moore’s cash is comedy writer Sarah Morgan, who can be found on Twitter as @sarahlmorgan.