John is joined by Guardian TV writer Julia Raeside to watch Timothy “Bond James Bond” Dalton gamely feign desire for 1,000,000 year old Mae West in the “saucy” “musical” “comedy” Sextette. “Why don’t you come up and see it some time?” Why? Because it’s batshit insane.
This time it’s personal, again, as Daniel Craig’s grumpy spy takes on the bloke from No Country For Old Men, using only an Aston Martin he absolutely definitely shouldn’t own and an old DVD of Home Alone (for survival tips). John Rain is joined by Robin Ince (The Infinite Monkey Cage) – who can be found on Twitter as @robinince – to discuss the 23rd Bond, and possibly duet on Adele’s biggest hit about apple crumble.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t be living heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrre!” John Rain tackles the 1988 film starring Bronhom – the man who would be Bond (and then was Bond, so don’t cry) – with the man who gave Taffin a second chance at life. It’s Dr Buckles himself, the Emperor of Podland Adam Buxton, who can be found on Twitter as @AdamBuxton.
It’s side special time again, and do you fancy something unpretentious and easy-going? Well, bad news – it’s ZARDOZ! AND IN THE END ZARDOZ RE-CREATED MAN! Joining John to refuse to move to the second level no matter how much you waggle your hands are the acclaimed comedy writers of Charlie Brooker’s News Wipe, Philomena Cunk and the Ladybird Books For Grown-Ups – Jason Hazeley (on Twitter as @JasonHazeley) and Joel Morris (@gralefrit)!
Some call it the greatest Bond of all. Those people are both incredibly small in number and obviously mad. Here comes Daniel Craig’s second outing, Quantum of Solace (2008). Joining John to check into an eco-hotel and drown in a barrel of crude oil is actor and comedian Alison Ward, who can be found on Twitter as @ItsAlisonWard.
It’s side special time again, and what sounds more fun than a 1970s sci-fi disaster movie starring a grumpy Sean Connery, co-financed by American and Hong Kong backers, which flopped at the box office? Not much. Joining John to avoid being crushed under a lump of slow-moving rock is actor and writer Dan Tetsell, who can be found on Twitter as @tetsell.
It’s side special time again, and it’s one that nearly no-one’s been waiting for: 1997’s Spiceworld The Movie! Stick on your Union Jack platform boots, hide all the BAFTAs, and prepare to mercilessly cash-in as the Spice Girls – Sporty, Scary, Fangy, Boycie and Maureen (citation needed) – take us on a wild bus-ride back to the glorious 1990s. Joining John to endure 93 minutes of Girl Power and film-making ineptitude is writer and compulsive swearer Marc Haynes, who can be found on Twitter as @marchaynes.
Die Another Day is Pierce Brosnan’s last outing but, while often cited in the lists of the worst Bond film of all time, does it deserve its terrible reputation? Joining John to analyse this like Sigmund Freud is Joel Morris, the BAFTA-winning comedy writer and author of the bestselling Ladybird Books For Adults, who can be found on Twitter as @gralefrit.
The World Is Not Enough – the nineteenth Bond film, the third outing for Pierce Brosnan, and the single worst innuendo in the entire series. Joining John to ram the fishing boat of conversation through the restaurant of your ears is the broadcaster, writer and all-round scaramouche Jon Holmes, who can be found on Twitter as @jonholmes1.